Tuesday, 6 October 2015
Wednesday, 5 August 2015
SNE|BNE
Embarked a 1.5 years journey to Brisbane, University of Queensland. Initially, I was very excited and I thought I will be fine to let go my parents and friends for 1.5 years. I thought I will never shed a single tear and be emotional at the airport. I thought I will be positive about it. But I just cannot help having tears trickling my face when I saw them appear one by one! I was really touch that so many of them came to sent me off ( even Lia, whom I worked with at PB ) it was really heartening to see so many people sending me off.
Tata
Sunday, 17 May 2015
After UQ
I hope in 1.5 years time. I will be:
1) Confident
I want to be portrayed to be a confident and smart person. People will look at me with envious eyes and adore me.
2) Speak Well
I want to speak good english to build up a professional and smart image.
3) Slim Bean
I want to be slim and toned! I want to wear pretty clothes and look good in everything!
Wednesday, 6 May 2015
Wise words from Sheila
FIRST. Build a strong language and ability to express yourself. To do this. U gotta have opinions. Build ur ability to have opinions. U dont have to be smart but just by appearing to have an opinion, you LOOK smart. Their own beliefs. And they dont waver
Hahah uhm hmm you dont go around tellin ppl. "Im damn stupid and awk"
Sunday, 19 April 2015
The Unsent Letter
Dear Ms Cheryl, Ms Hana, Ms Serene and Ms Stephanie,
We are Sheila Ho and Jolyn Goh from TB62.
We are writing today in regards of our performance in our group projects and what is going on behind the scenes of the projects.
To start off , this semester was extremely hectic. Possessing zero to minimal prior knowledge about psychology and statistics (for almost all members), it was hard to kick start the project especially aspects involving SPSS. Other project deadlines as well as tests were crammed all tightly together in three weeks and despite making efforts to start early, it seemed pretty impossible to complete on time.
Our group even made efforts to meet up to overnight together to complete the integrated project. Perhaps it was due to our tiredness, that many mistakes were committed. But we felt that overnight was necessary, because there were a ton of things needed to be completed, and time was very, very tight.
This leads to our main purpose of writing this email. How could time be so extremely tight when we started off early? We felt that this could be largely due to many member’s lack of display of co-operation and group dynamics. Among all the members, objectively speaking, we (Jolyn and Sheila) were doing the most work. We were the earliest to come for meetings, and the last to leave. On top of that, while other members spent only 1 night overnight in school, we overnight for a total of 4 nights in school (We need school network for SPSS), with maximum only 1 hour of sleep while overnight, and this is exclusive of the overnights done at home. The average we slept were around 2-3 hours per night, and we could not even catch a break because we felt that all the burdens and responsibilities were on our shoulders. The other members, however, had it easy. They could go out and meet their girlfriends and have a date, go for frequent driving sessions, leave early, arrive late, etc. they were, in comparison, extremely relaxed about the project deadlines as compared to us.
This was extremely unfair for us. During project meetings, they arrived late, achieved little, and left early, leaving most of the tedious and difficult work for us to settle. Even during project submission for social psychology, I could clearly remember, only 3 members stayed for the submission at 5pm. The 3 members were us and yifei. The rest of the members went off early, citing whatever excuses they could give, and left the submission for us to do. The excuses were things like “I’m going NUS (girlfriend is from NUS)”, “You all still need help anot? I can go off first right?” and “I have driving later”. We did not alter what they said, it was exactly that. We felt that even though we did not really need them to be there to do work, but as group members, they should at the very least, be there for moral support, and be there for whatever help they could give us, especially when submission was so near. Whatever happened to “all for one, one for all?” They could so easily just leave because they have activities going on. There was no sacrifice on their part for projects. If they had a dinner date, they would go for the dinner date. What about us? We sacrificed our social life, our sleep, even eating and many many many other things during the hectic 3 weeks. We did NOT STOP doing work, at all. Because we seem to be the overall in charge of the projects (because the other members know nuts about the progress), we have to constantly tell them what to do, explain to them and give instructions, which adds on to the list of burdens and responsibilities that we already have.
If they had taken a tad more initiative, stayed a little longer for project meetings, and gave more effort in their work instead of submitting work that we CONSTANTLY has to redo, we would really appreciate it a lot, and our burdens would be relieved at least.. a little more. We cannot comprehend how our group members could be so selfish, to leave us on the lurch and make us do most of the work by ourselves. Not even their physical presence were there… that was HOW LITTLE SACRIFICE they made. Of course, to be reasonable, they did work. But, never exceeded their comfort zone. And of course, some were more hardworking than the others, more willing and provided more moral support. One of which we would like to mention, was YiFei. Perhaps when we look at it individually, they could argue they did work, which we will not deny. Lets say, 3 hours on average for all the members, excluding yifei me and jolyn. That seems pretty okay. But lets compare it to us, 16-18 hours of work a day on average. That really makes the other member’s contribution pales ALOT in comparison. If they could put in the extra few hours, our 16-18 hours can be reduced. But they did not, in which we had plenty of issues about.
When we tasked them to do work, the work quality, most of the time, is really bad. In which, who suffers? Me and Jolyn, for we had to redo their work. It was also ALWAYS submitted late. If they promised 5pm on Thursday, it probably would be handed up the next day or something. Procrastinating seems to be the talent of most group members. They really have zero sense of urgency. This results in lots of dragging and which also pulls down overall performance and explains why work always cannot be completed on time, and we are always rushing for project deadlines, and along the way, making tons and tons and tons of mistakes.
To quote some of them, they even drew the line of their job scope. “I contributed for most of BBCP, so i don’t need touch Social psychology right?” This was rather unreasonable, for BBCP’s workload was really, really, really much lesser than social psychology, in which social psychology we actually did the experiment twice (on 42 participants, so 42 x 2), had a report, and a presentation. BBCP only had presentation, that was all.
Another “I’m not touching SPSS, but i can do the analysis”. We all know SPSS is the tedious and most difficult parts. The analysis was honestly, in comparison, way easier than the SPSS. Yet they could draw the line so clearly. NO one was willing to do SPSS in the group, so that leaves us to deal with it. (Sheila was from entrepreneurship specialisation, and knows nothing about SPSS prior.)
Malvick (the one who was peer evaluated for IP) often promises that he will help us with SPSS but whenever we started on it, he will expressly take up another easier and “insignificant” task. He makes empty promises and claims that he will do this and that, but no work is produced almost every time. He also thinks that just because he always “offer” to do work, he is actually doing alot. But his work is bad, often submitted late, and we honestly don’t need him for help because he is so untrustworthy. When mentioned to him directly, he got super defensive and even claimed that it was our fault for not entrusting work to him in the first place which translates to his lack of contribution. Why would we want to entrust him important work after seeing his performance? So that we can redo it?
We cautioned to Malvick how unhappy we felt towards him approximately 3 weeks before end of projects through Ying Jie. Ying Jie spoke to him about how unhappy we felt towards his nonchalant attitude towards. Also, a few days later, Jolyn spoke to him about it. He clearly understands the issues we had against him. However, there was no improvements at all.
I would also like to highlight, during the night where all 6 members overnight (one night before IP submission was due), the only people doing serious work and barely slept, were me jolyn and yifei. Ying jie was alright even though he slept a little, at least he produced quality work and achieved quite a lot. However, the other two, slept throughout. We cannot comprehend why and how people can sleep in the presence of group members rushing for a project that they also have a part to play in. Apart from sleeping, they were watching shows! Enjoying life. That made us so mad. They were tasked to do limitations, in which was submitted in point form to us. And was really quite bad and irrelevant, in which Sheila and Yifei had to redo. The worst was, we sent them introduction to paraphrase, and they did it so half-heartedly, barely anything was changed. We had to check it and realise they barely paraphrased. That was extremely extremely selfish. If we did not check, our group would have been faulted for plagiarism in safe assign. And guess who had to redo everything? It was extremely unfair for us especially when we were already doing huge and tedious parts and they can’t even get the small parts right.
To add on, we conducted another project meeting after BBCP test, in which everyone was obviously very very tired. But the meeting was necessary. However, all 3 guys viewed it as a chore, expressed unwillingness and slept throughout the meeting, while we and yifei did work, despite being very, very tired.
We would like to highlight that it is partly our fault for not marking them down or telling them off. Apart from work attitude, almost all of them were very pleasant people and we got along well, which is why we felt guilty for telling them off or marking them down.Also, had they known that we peer evaluated them, our friendship would be affected and upcoming projects affected as well, which would make things worst. Moreover, we were really lacking in energy to scold or tell them off patiently. We had so many things on our hands, no time, no sleep, it was hard, and our patience was also running very, very low.
Now that projects, especially IP, are over, we finally could relax and absorb what happened during the past 3 weeks, and it began to dawn upon us that these group members, in terms of work attitude, were terrible. Our IP project went so badly that we were traumatized and suffered many sleepless nights and nightmares after the projects ended. But we felt extremely unjustified. It is not right to pinpoint or blame others, but we cant help ourselves to think that we are actually bearing the consequences of other people’s actions, and that was really unfair for us. Had the effort in our group been distributed evenly, and everybody co-operated, was not calculative, took initiative, made some effort to NOT submit some really really bad quality work, our IP results would not have been like this. Carelessness could be avoided entirely, for IP would not fall entirely into the hands of extremely tired members who did not sleep the whole night. The entire SPSS(for IP and social psychology) and ALL presentation slides, was done by solely Jolyn, whereas close to 85% of the social psychology project was done by Sheila. (which includes entire intro, method, analysis, limitations, recommendations, most of business applications, conducting of experiment, debrief, half of presentation slides, appendix)
It was very overwhelming and unbearable. Till now, we are not able to concentrate on our preparation for exams as every minute, we kept having thoughts about our poor IP results, the arduous process that we had to go through and the unjust we had to swallow and suffer secretly.
We both entered the semester with high hopes of having our grades for this semester pull up our cgpa, so that we could apply for a local university. We were extremely serious and this semester was crucial in determining our future, for we needed that bit more results to meet the cut off for our desired courses. However, it felt as though our future is about to be ruined because of projects, and this really demoralized us. We put in our 101% effort and put projects and grades above all things, yet were unable to do well, and this was not even because of our lack of effort, but because of selfish group mates who put their interest first before the group’s.
To be fair, we had a lack of contribution for BBCP. This was because, BBCP’s deadline falls on a Monday and social psychology fell on a Wednesday, and for SPSY, we had only finished experiment, methods and intro. We were so desperate that we split the team into half, 3 in charge of BBCP, and 3 others in charge of SPSY. If all did BBCP, who would do SPSY? When pinpointing out Malvick’s flaws to him, he actually retaliated and accused us of not contributing to BBCP, which we felt were extremely, extremely unfair to us. Firstly, the tasks he had to do (which he did badly), did not clash with BBCP. But, SPSY clashed with BBCP for us (sheila), and we (Sheila) had to choose either one to do. None of the members were clear for the progress of SPSY thus Sheila had to be in charge. For the SPSY presentation, the other members were actually tasked very clearly of what they had to say for their parts by Sheila, yet there were so many errors made by the other members when they presented, such as PERCEPTION that mature faces are intelligent, became MATURE FACES are intelligent. Others’ performance for presentation was hard for us to control, and we felt that we were brought down by others’ mistakes, and it was hard for us to swallow the fact that we had to bear consequences for others’ flaws.
We knew what was required and told the group mates in-charge of BBCP, but advice was not listened. (Interview answers should be integrated with marketing strategies of brand, and many others). That was so unfair. We were clear of the standards but we were so busy dealing with other projects to check their work, which resulted in BBCP not doing as well as desired.
All these stress we had resulted us in very little rest which further affected our own individual assignment and exams. Once again, we understand that tiredness or insufficient time are not good excuses for submitting poor quality work, but it is extremely unfair that despite being students who work hard and try their best in everything, the lack of help from our group mates were detrimental to our individual grades.
Once again, we understand that we ought to have peer evaluated our group mates so that teachers could talk to them and actions can be taken. However, we did not as that will definitely bring awkwardness and tension to the subsequent projects because most of them actually feel that it is sufficient “if they done their part” and do not really think they we are being “shortchanged”. In our previous semesters, there were occasions where we told teachers’ about unhappiness towards other team mates and it further negatively affected the entire team’s performance. Hence, that explains why we decided to tolerate and swallow our frustration inwardly.
Also, they were our friends, it was immorally wrong to mark a friend down and affect their grades. We only peer evaluated Malvick because he was the worse team mate in the group. We hope that most of them will never know the content of this email as it will definitely affect our friendships badly. This email is never meant to bring most of them down but we just felt it is important to let you know what Jolyn and I went through.
Thank you so much.
Regards,
Sheila & Jolyn
TB62
My time at SWW
It was an amazing experience.
I worked as an assistant in the Voluntary Department where I had to deal with volunteers for CS, answer phone calls, mostly administrative work. Indeed, it was tedious and boring however I never dreaded going to work a single day! I had the kindest and friendliest colleagues around me! They were funny, caring and polite towards me. (UNLIKE ****** >:( ) I brought bearbear to work for 2 working days :)
Brenda was one of the amazing people I met in SWW. She was a contract staff and we came into SWW at the same time! Initially, I thought I will never be able to click with people who are older than me even just by a year, however, Brenda was 2 years older than me and we were able to be silly together! We were both equally nonsensical and ridiculous! I really think we complement each other quite well and I love her company :) We took went to office/home together and I did not even felt awkward with her a single moment. Sigh, gonna miss her very much :(
Jiahui worked together with me in the volunteer department. She is very straightforward yet still real and sincere. At times she is very harsh towards me but still, she was like a "mother", she helped me a lot during my work and always taught me patiently. She might look ferocious, but there is actually lot of sweetnes and goodness in her!
Of course, I have a "supervisor". Leisha was the best supervisor ever. She did not assign me much work, it was more of Jia Hui supervising and guiding me. Nevertheless, she was still there for me. She gave me food, treated me like a real friend and even sang camp songs with me. She did not have airs and was still as sweet and lovely towards me despite that I will only be working for 6 faithful weeks. She is definitely by far, the best supervisor I ever met.
Toodles!!!!
Sunday, 5 April 2015
Unofficially graduated
Here comes my ultra long holiday break. I am really eggcited about it. Is currently one week into my awesome holiday period!!! I feel so carefree and genuinely happy!!!! Is insanely peaceful!!!
But gonna start work next week and regretted a little bit, cuz im really scared i will be an awkward turtle and will do stupid things. I want to rest more too but oh well :( quite bad to reject it suddenly right?? Is 6 weeks! Gonna be like internship! Yay. Really hope the people there are genuinely naice and pray hard I wont be some stupid looking potato doing silliest mistakes.
Sheila came to my house yesterday (it was chu qi). We played ban luck with bearbear and he got a ban luck!!! Crazy piece of shit!!!
Feel the urge to buy more clothes but also kinda lazy to browse plus i have bags of clothes hidden in my cupboard.
Hiding in the kitchen during cny
TOODLES
Sunday, 8 February 2015
Last Semester
NO MORE PROJECTS!! HOORAY! TIME TO COUNTER EXAMS! YAHOOO! EGGCITED (NOT)
This semester has been a hellish roller coaster ride. But one person whom I am really grateful will definitely be Sheila, her crabbiness (pun intended) never failed to make me laughed and light up my stressful process of doing projects (be honoured)
So, we have the same kind of cheapskate personality and have a deep loveeeeee for freebies so, we went to SP Open House and grabbed some free loots! YAY! The teenage magazine bag was really awesome. There were plenty of facial samples. There was a generous amount from Etude House! We had to take a picture before we can take the bag home so tada:
This sem would be really different without crabby and bearbear
Sheila and I spent alot of time overnighting and doing projects together with our bearbear and crabby :)
And kiefer and I kinda became friends again:) So i had the chance to meet pork chop. In this picture, he is currently excited to get electrocuted by my laptop charger.
I brought bearbear to school and he was pops among my groupmates:) So happy that there are people who thinks he is kewt too:)
Sunday, 4 January 2015
Policing
I was a great risk taker and had a nonchalant attitude. When decisions surfaced, I will casually decide. Often which, I regretted all of them very very much. Many things have shaped and changed my behavior. Poly education is coming to an end, entering into my next milestone- uni/career choice.
I am really interesting in being a policewomen, investigating, gathering information, analyzing them. The accomplishment when you solved the case makes me feel so important and significant in the society. However, I am just really afraid of the physical training, especially the residential course because I was afraid I will not be able to meet their expectations and all. But I understand that I must persevere to achieve my dream job.
Weiwei is interested in policing too! This is gonna be eggciting :)
I am really interesting in being a policewomen, investigating, gathering information, analyzing them. The accomplishment when you solved the case makes me feel so important and significant in the society. However, I am just really afraid of the physical training, especially the residential course because I was afraid I will not be able to meet their expectations and all. But I understand that I must persevere to achieve my dream job.
Weiwei is interested in policing too! This is gonna be eggciting :)
These few weeks, or rather, this gruesome period, I feel so suffocated and depressed deep deep down. I do not know how to express this emotion. I have been secretly fighting and swallowing my emotions. Projects is stressing me out and I feel so drained.
Most of my group mates are really nice and fun to be with, but there is just one freaking guy whom I feel so disgusted about. I just hate his attitude towards work and our working styles are just 2 worlds apart. I have been ranting to him to so many of my friends and each time I start ranting, I could feel my face swell up and I was really furious and irritated. He is like the Worse.Guy.Ever. I have never in my life met such a childish, irritating, angsty, talk-until-he-will-do-alot, secretly-tarnish-his-friends-repuation guy in my entire lifeee!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Will be going to atrium with Sheila to do SPSS tonight. le sigh
Most of my group mates are really nice and fun to be with, but there is just one freaking guy whom I feel so disgusted about. I just hate his attitude towards work and our working styles are just 2 worlds apart. I have been ranting to him to so many of my friends and each time I start ranting, I could feel my face swell up and I was really furious and irritated. He is like the Worse.Guy.Ever. I have never in my life met such a childish, irritating, angsty, talk-until-he-will-do-alot, secretly-tarnish-his-friends-repuation guy in my entire lifeee!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Will be going to atrium with Sheila to do SPSS tonight. le sigh
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