Weekends!

My weekends were all burnt cuz i was working at yishun esso station, selling some speedpass. I was kinda scared and unhappy when sarah told me she wasnt gonna work wif me for the first few days cuz i was damn scared i woudnt blend in with her yolo friend and his friends who were working wif me. Ohwell firstday of work, which was last week was kinda boring, sarahs yolo friend was funny but he was like our supervisor so i he didnt play around much, the other guy was weird and quiet. And thenother guy was like doubly weird and turn off. So yup, there goes my boring sunday. Then last sat, there were like 2 new guys, those 2 weirdos were gone. Then ya quite turn off. Blablabla. And it was funny cuz they keep disturbing me and all, and sales was good. Time pass faster that time. Sunday was abit meh... And yup. Cant wait for the kacching kacching to come in.

Had some insights abt this recent bod thingy in leo. Some were somewhat unhappy. Tbh, i knw hw it feels la but is kinda subjective and i dun feel like explaining on this point. For me, though i got selected this feedback thingy but i didnt really care cuz leo is nt the kind of organization i would wanna stay in for long i think, there s not this strong bond. I think is prolly np and i talked to a few np gf abt it, they told me the same too. Is like despite having so many downs in np, all of us are still knitted as one. All of us respected almost each and everyone in np. Like we arent cliquish, we are tgt as a whole, hand in hand and all. In leo rite, for me, yes it appears we are a whole, but theres this tinge of cliquish and things wont blend in as easily as it is for me. I rmb that xyz suggested to the bods that there should be more meals tgt, tgt with the whole leo, leo would be more bonded. But nah, i doubt so. Is nt as ez as meals and all. The note was alr start of wrongly cuz cliques have already been bonded "knitted" "strongly".

Np has taught me alot, it made me grow ssooo much more abt friendship as well as leadership too much till manytimes, i felt that is quite"abnormal" cuz only ug kids will have this feeling it isnt the "norm", hence not able to connect well with the normal cca-club ppl. This outbreak is so intense till at times I just cant wait for everything to end, cant wait to get away, really strong urge to skip and forgo them. Once ago, np taught me how to be responsible and all, at times,
it is soo hard to skip and run away from
things i hate. Np has really taught me how to deal with the many kinds of teacher, judging each and everyone s behaviour. I admit is not good to judge la, but this is the real world, if one looks ugly, no fashion sense, weird, one would be considered as looserish and all. Hence, naturally, in np, there used to be these feel who dont feel part of the squad. Eg. Our cp, she backstabs, she is friendless in sch, hence everyone kinda hated her and all. Oh and she paws and bootlicks, and everybody started judging er secretly to be a poor, unbefitting, useless cp.She bootlicked upstairs, hence she was able to climb to such social status, in the end down she went. G has told me that this is normal, cuz np has really train us, and shape us, our innerself has alr been diff from others, though we dont appear to behave differently, but between us and the normal kids out there, there s whole list of aliens. Somewhat i feel like an alien cuz in poly, all my kinds are all diff course from me, other schs, graduates. I seriously just cant wait for sch holidays when i can just meetup with each and everyone of them to share with them my many many thoughts.

Kinda wonder what will happen if i dont wear blue...

Recently, i saw m. Ohgawd. It was super awkward at first cuz of xyz. But then we began to click, is just that np spirit in me, or mayb in us, that kind whereby you can tok to anything uder the sun. I hated c,a,z before and im quite sure when i meet thm i still can pretend and talk to them as if the hatred has vanished! Really really misss those np kids:(

At times i will use np logic to apply it to my daily problems and all, is never the norm and im none of my polymates can understand it.... Ohwell... Is jus 3 more yrs and a few yrs in uni and voila.