rant

been wanting to post this fml ish post for really really long. its holidays, i've been yay-ing for like a few hours, but today, im like mehhh, is friday, and i needa go back for np. and like all my close friends are in jc or in other polys, and their exams and a's are not over yet:( today, i feel lonely, sad, tired of everything, not enjoying a single bit of this holiday i have been looking forward too.

I kinda miss a few of my poly friends, i have yet to share with them abt how much i dread going for np nowadays, yet to share with them f2f kind, we were able to tok anything under sun when going for lectures/classes, those long routes... haish:( need to speak f2f to someone about it. I kinda miss them, and i really am feeling lazy to plan outings, im planning abtm2 with chuwen and sasa, but kinda disheartened cuz they are quite bz and they dont give prompt responses, but i cant blame them la, they are stil schooling and still have alot of commitments unlike me, slacking about in my holidays. But hopefully, our thurs will still be successful.

Needa go retail theraphy soon too.

so here it goes, i kinda lost the drive in np.

I love Np, there are so many memories that nv fail to make me smile or be spirited. The ups and downs when I was a cadet, as an nco, the bonds, the camps I forged, is soooo gawd damn unforgettable. The friendships I made in oev, area camps, activites, cibtc, plentiful, but i think all of us are drifting apart, like i wont take initiative to date them out anymore. But still I miss them and i know they will always kept in a special place in their hearts <3

Nevertheless, I thought when I join back NP as a CI, bonds like this will also keep me going, however, it really sux, i feel so detach from **** * and beatty, soso detach...dread going back, i don even feel the joy when they achieved gold cuz im not involve in anything and i dont plan too.