good friday

went for preps on wed, it suck my balls. i felt so depressed, outcasted, lonely, insignificant, and i wanted to just run away and dig a small hole every single minute in school. shkk wasnt there. molly didnt really talk to me much, like she kept hanging out with joey and all. like wtf. she keep pangsehing me la. like she didnt wait tgt to queue up with me, she jus mia-ed like for 10 mins while i just sit down alone, sombre, quietly, feebly, i hated such feeling, the feeling of being alone and awkward in situation.

i havent went for many preps, hence, it was really awkz, like they suddnly accepted so many new people, whom i dont feel attach to, is not like a family anymore, dj milk is super different, i dun feel excited, fun, happy in such a cliche cliqish environment, thought of quitting baoc too.

today i went for sc games trial, it sucks too. but luckily, i had shkk, so we jus dinez at fish manhattan, i knw it is a great big sin to eat during good friday but i jus dunn wanna spoil the fun, i wanna bond with her and have more like a quality time with her so i can rant my sorrows and woes to her.

feel so distant from molly already. shes getting so pops that even jfoo knows her, and tiny, like they were calling her name out, kinda feel sour, i think is jealous, i mean who wouldnt be jealous, i think i just dun have the luck and charisma to attract people and be fun and hype like i used to be. totally lost those characteristics :( haish. but i dun care la. like now im so distant to her, kinda feel sad too. she was like my bestie in poly. and kinda dread when sch re opens, shes gonna basked in more attention and im gonna be pangsehed since she's like same class with a few of her new zulus friends. so oh well.. tata.

life is full of ups and downs, i jus need time to adapt to such changes, but thank god, i have shkk whom i know who will be there for me :) i cant wait to start afresh in a new environment after poly.

Second evaaa preps

Today was the second time i went prep! It was so much better than the first one cuz i had agnes and shkk and like lesser rando awkz ppl i think.

Modified idare cheer wif agnes to bully kely abt mellyshark. Teehee. It was damn fun. We jus chase him and shouted the cheer like siao.

Cheered lots of idare cheers in the dance studio, it was damn fun, love the hype, llove the spirit between all my friends and all, " WEEEEEEEEEE COME FROM I DARE FAMOUS IN BEE EH COME FROM A VERY SPECIAL FAMILY..."

H2h talk wif shkk, i just love sharing thoughts and such with her, felt so complete

Macs for dinner wif julie and shkk;) it was fun and enjoyable, but i felt fatty. Julie shared wif us abt her bkk trip! I WANNA GO THERE SOOOONN:(

IDARE SQUIDWARD

This post is strictly gonna be dedicated to IDARE MARCH'13.
it turned out better than i expected
I expected the following:

1) pop kids in my grp
2) many ppl of different frequencies
3) hyped like siao sc who will be bias and all
4) boring
5) no attachment at all
6) not gonna forge true friendships

i was all wrong. I have the following now:
1) forged a few true friendships that i knw is gonna last for real long
2) only a few peeps of different frequencies, i mean like i cant have everything i want so im already very lucky to find ppl whom i can laugh with and understand better
3) fun ttm
4) somewhat attachment in the grp; like there were still a few pop kids, but not many, mostly were made up of same genre as me, so i was still able to have fun with the rest, but i was feeling lazy and tired throughout and i kinda regretted such attitude; i have been like that since poly started and i hope such lame and bad habits would stop:(
5) excellent sc <3

my sc was really da bomb. nam like told me he was gonna be the best sc and everything but i kinda like mehhh cuz i tot pops ppl r gonna be bias and cocky la. but he was like damn humble i think and he included everyone, like there was just this warmth feeling and the genuine and sincere personality portrayed out to all of us. we jus feel so spirited and fun whenever he address us. will always miss his bobs and swag lil dances, fun, h2h and all <3

and im just tearing when im writing this, i dunno why, i actually told shkk i dun feel attach attach, and didnt really enjoyed enjoyed myself kind of thing, but like i still feel damn sad. keith asked wassit happy or sad feel? i didnt knw wad to say, i was like tanking myself but tears just trickled, is like loosing all of them again, like we cant have a camp tgt ever again and everyone is gonna go seperate ways, i mean thats wad always happen after the hyped of the camp, im just so afraid to loose everyone :( i am like a super sentimental person and i knw idare memories would be etched deeply in my heart.

like there were a few true friend i made, like hongkai, yishin, patrick, isabelly, qikai im gonna miss all of them:( yishin was like my bestie, she was always there for me and all, i didnt expect to be close friends with her, but we jus have the same frequency, she could just read off my mind. she always there for me, held my hand whenever there were rocks and stuffs and have never said "no" to me to all my silly requests and wants, her existence had made my idare trip too. <3

next there was hongkai, he shared stuffs abt moon <3 he was kind of the silly super innocent, kewt little boy kind of thing. his stories are lame but like his effort was really there. he was always making effort to make the atmosphere cheery and exciting thought sometimes it failed. when i was sitting beside him and keith like said smth like "laura how u feeling", i jus got so emotional and kried again, and like hongkai was like i sing for u, and he did many stupid things to cheer me up.

and there was patrick whom i bullied alot and small talked alot.

and there qikai whom always teased me and small talked alot too.

and there was isabelly whose presence also play a significant role in idare. she really changed and growed and im really proud to have her as my friend #beattyftw she was all quiet, demure and all in sec sch. she's still demure and elegant kind now, but she's slightly more outspoken, though she is still soft, but i knw she's trying <3

love idare march'13 

mini update

many updates to be made, so here: is my idare group. i think kinda better then preglow but i still miss mindy:( mindy was really fun to be with and same frequency too:(

but luckily there are like almost half of the ppl are of the same frequency as me, so yay. oh and like they were discussing abt identities and cheers and skits and i simply have no interest in it. like boo woo. but hoo kares la. hope idare will be fun and i will bleed lesser.

okie virgin photo with molly WITH CONTACTS. HOOO MAIII GAWDDDDD. COOL OR WAD RITE. i think i look weird leh. idk la but is jus so not me. and my nose looks kinda awkward and flat. like so ugly leh:( look like some deformed pig nose head:( haish. needa exercise soon too:(

 

oh and today went from zz prep, it kinda sux so i went home early, dk why molly can be so happy and n2 about it.  oh well. so many mixed feelings..

donkeys and cats

hellowello:)

so many events happened these few weeks. I wanted to wait for the photos to be uploaded before I write up my posts. But everyone is sooo inefficient:( and im so scared of loosing these bits and pieces of memories, so oh well, shall jus blogged first:)


07/03, today, went for idare briefing camp, my grp has no cute guys:( so freaking jealous of molly's grp, she has llama and like a few kewties:(  and my grp the gals like damn alot so yeah.. but i think i will have friends la, there's isabelle, and junwei:( oh well. is always like that fated la:(

mon-wed, had dj milk chalet, oopsie, is zealous zooolus! YEAH! really damn respect the 3 sco and asco's, i think they are really damn eq-uish, and their leadership skills are damn tokong, like i didnt expect them to think so much, think so in depth and all la, cuz they were telling us that we werent initiative, on the surface it appears everyone is happy with one another, but they understand the bond is still not there and all la. Im really happy they saw this cuz i feel this way too. Then went back home with a h2h with huiqin, really enjoyed her accompany.

sat, had pree glow at sentosa! damn sad that jian tou fa cant make it:( my sf was gina boom. she was nice la, but i think our grp was the most sian one. but i met mindy! she so hyped:) but sadly she is not in my idare grouping:( gonna miss the small chatty chats we have:( and she damn same frequency as me:( oh well. both of my idare groups are really damn sucky:(  i think i is fated to end up with sucky groups:(

oh and i signed up for leo gl, hopefully i can get in, and hopefully my group ppl are like silly donkeys that i can bully:(