A slice of my hols

have been bz this few days to help ronald with his serena burfday card :) was so happy and eggcited about it! really love this pebbles, its meaningful, and portrayed like stepping stones to an A Star relationship.

All coloured by him (facial expression was by me, like duh, obviously) so pweets right this idea? i got it from pinterest and was really inspired to make him do it too!

kaixin made my day today <3 she wapp me this:

 

feel so loved when i have mini surprises or convos with friends like that, i mean like, wow, they still can rmb me? im like remembered still despite everyone's busy and hectic schedule, and they willing to take the effort to find a pic and say smth nice, that kind of thing. 

tata for now

Bitched

BBitch abt my dad to patrick. Sigh. 

My dad and i argued again today abt his stewpid company and my work etc. i was careless when i did his work and all la, which made him super piss, and i finally quit. And he made a big woohaa over it, abt me being ingrate, hopeless, a quitter, lousy attitude etc. 

So wad la, i knw is irresponsible, is unbecoming. But i have a choice and all wad, if is bo bian, i will surely stay committed and be responsible and all wad. I live to be happy, not to make ppl happy. True enough, i cant revolve around in my own world, i try my best to help ppl etc, i feel accomplished and all. There were times my dad did praised me abt my goodwork and all, i still felt all was a big burden and cant wait to get rid of it but i jus cant bear to say it la. Soft hearted or afraid maybe? 

Im feeling so much better after tell everything to my gal patrick though:) pray that tmrw will be a better day!

Toodles

Date with patrick!

Did project wif stewpid patrick today at orchard. Burden hrm. 

Borrowed polaroid cam from weiwei:) yay! 

 

We did our nails:( totally regretted it man. 6 bucks and like is meh la. Like i could have done it at home. But i like the feeling when the person filed and brushed my nails thouh!

Supposedly, i had to help ronald to choose stuffs for his gf s burfday card. Feel kinda bad cuz i wanted to make patrick happy too:( shld have enforce that i will do manicure wif her someday then i could have a good ketchup with him:( ohwell :( 

Quite proud of him though, he seems to change alot( for the better), feel so happy how int and thoughtful he is abt the card. But i think i was much more eggcited than him, i kept wanting wood and blablabla. HAHAHAH OH WELL

Back frm long hiatus

This was idare day( trying my best to make a profile worthy peek): 

Was really sad and pissed wif o that day:( was really looking forward to shouting idare cheer and feeling so loved and happy and spirited all over again:( but randall goh didnt let us off for jus a short cheer:( we could hv jus lied:( 

One of the days where we crashed blk72 lvl3 to study, i look damn fat here:( i needa loose lots of weight:

Saw a kewt jeepy too~~

Had our eba presentation. I think eba was like the most fun and exciting module as a proj for this sem. Really sad it ended so fast:( and we had an a. N i feel damn apologetic towards nick lo, the way i treated him on first day of tut was so disgusting:( i really enjoyed him in our grp overall. Yay!

One of the day outside the printing area playing wif shkk s hair:) loved her high hairlines man:( 

NP CL CAMP'13

dragged my soul and body for this camp, feeling eva so lethargic and frustrated over the camp, however, it turned out so much enjoyable, fufilling and better than i expected.

obv, the first reason that i did not want to go was doubting my capability, i was so afraid of so many things.
- not being able to perform well at a CI's level
- not being able to jell the cadets
- not being able to instill and inculcate my objective
- not being able to drive my points properly
- over running
-conflicts

overall, it was just lack of confidence.

second reason was the company, cuz i was the only girl, i was afraid of feeling lonely, going to loo's alone in the dark creepy school. however, ls and jh was there, they were willing to acc me and all which is soooo damn not typical-ls-jh-pattern.

the cadet's had their squad goal- confidence.
via their squad goal, i was able to set use their goal, manipulate myself, to achieve and perform better. i wanted to be confident and be a good role model too.

i was very particular about how im going to conduct my mass debrief. for me, i felt that mass debrief is the critical and most important "activity", it sums everything up, and is where, they really understand what we wanna try to portray and bring to them.

the rest affirmed me and told me i was a good coord( despite some other weakness etc), they tried to boost my "ego" and wanted to make me feel sense of achievement etc. however, i felt that there was still many goals i wanted to fufill for this camp were not met, one of which was the very very crucial and impt goal- jelling them.

i felt that i didnt put in more effort to jell them, there were too much unnecessary lectures, more modular course shld have be implemented, i felt really disappointed cuz i really wanted them to feel the bond, feel like a family. probably, they appear to be, but deep down, i felt that the bond wasnt there, it wasnt that strong or in depth as what i exp during my own nco camp:(

there are indeed many takeaways for the cadets via this camp, but there are also plenty of takeaways for me and i will definitely never ever regret taking up as coord/ic for npcc events anymore:)

Dff

Dff was not as happening as i expected:( ba didnt win. But their fringe costume is really cute:) highsocks, high ponytail, sparkle markle everywhere:) regretted not finding nam or anna to take photo:(

Everyone is so obsessed with taking photos and all, i feel that the desire to take photo like is not only desire to keep those memories. Is also abt status, pops, cuz like i feel that if one takes photos with people and stuffs, somehow shows like u hv more friends, and cuz we'll be smiling in photos, or looking silly tgt with many ppl, somehow shows and flaunts to others that our social network is great. Im just putting it in blunt and plain words for my pov laaaa. And is also like the norm la, cuz everyone is taking peeks, u would seem to be like a loser or loner cuz u arent taking them, u dont have any friends kind of thing.

Okay, away from those lame thoughts of mine. Dff wasnt that fantastic but we still stayed thru, quite happy that for once qikai didnt pangsehed us:) i wanted him to be there cuz his fun and he would make everyone hype and all. Sooooooo, patrick, him, hongkai, yishin and me went to bulit timah food market( i think thats how is called) to have super suppper!!:) teehee.

And we did a lil pranking.

And we cabbed home:) shared with them abt the sad stuffs i faced in sch:( if only the ride was longer:( time really flies

Toodles

rant

Fuck. I need a shoulder to cry now. Holding back so much has made me feeling really weary and distraughted