Guilty

I put some thought into ytd s ordeal. I am kinda guilty and sad towards wad i felt about my parents. Like they are old and drained out already and i only have like 20 plus years more with them and thats not long okay. Im alr 17 odd, is like one more cycle. Thereafter, they will be gone. And i know they really cares and loves me. Like they give me the best. They sacrifice for me. They give me hope, time, comfort. At times, my family might nt few warm but most of the times they were. My dad is gonna go overseas tmrw. He is always flying here and there. So duh, he himself knws that he is nt spending enough time so obv he will be quite upset when im nt at home when he is in spore and all... Ohwell, im just those few kids that has to have suchfate, but at least they are still around, here, with me:( as im typing this, that pang of guilt just wells inside my heart and trickles of guilty tears starts flowing:( i really feel kinda angsty with myselfnow :( at many times, i felt like this before, and will learn to treasure them for like a week or so, i knw im gonna have silly thoughts of them nt being understanding or so very soon( HOPEFULLY NOT ) , but i hope i can constantly remind myself to really appreciate them longer before turning back to my old pork self:(

I didnt go badminton wif my dad today. I knw the way i rejected him surely pierced his heart as he asked me" are u still angry wif me", i wanted to cry and apologised but ego me just simply gave a cold excuse. Haish, thinking about that convo just now striked me even more now:(

Sadguiltykid95